What is Sex Appeal?

ByDavid Ross

What is Sex Appeal?

Typically, a man wants his woman to be attractive in a sexual way. He wants to be able to imagine himself having sex with her and look forward to the sexual experience. Also, a woman wants to be able to look forward to intimacy with her man. She wants to feel that sex or intimacy with her man will be a pleasant, fulfilling experience. This is true even if they are not having sex at the moment. For example, some couples choose to wait until marriage before having sex. Even in those situations, it is important that the couple looks forward to sex and intimacy with each other because sex is an important part of marriage. Add to that the fact that most men and women want their partner to be faithful to them. It is easier for men and women to be faithful when they feel that their partner is is sexually appealing – which brings us to the question “What is sex appeal?”

A Psychology Today article [24] identified four elements of sex appeal: 1) dynamic attractiveness, 2) circumstances, 3) static attractiveness, and 4) self-representation. Before we continue, please understand that everyone has different tastes. One person may think that you have sex appeal while another person may feel different. The great thing about sex appeal is that it is very much in your control. Let’s take a closer look at the four elements of sex appeal.

The Four Elements of Sex Appeal

  • Dynamic attractiveness: Some people are not born with great natural looks. They may not have a baby face or an exotic look, but they have dynamic attractiveness. This is because they express themselves in a very intriguing, fascinating, or captivating way. For example, musicians, entertainers, dancers, and actors/actresses sometimes have captivating body language that their fans find appealing. Charisma can also make someone dynamically attractive. Some comedians, motivational speakers, and leaders have a charismatic personality that is very attractive. Body language, confidence, and passion are key ingredients of dynamic attractiveness. If you have fun, easy-going, positive vibe, many people will find you attractive.
  • Circumstances: Your situation matters. If you and your partner (or date) are both in a great mood, then you both become more appealing to each other. If both of you enjoy doing things together, you both become more attractive to each other. Research has shown that if you do something fun or exciting with someone, you may attribute some of those fun feelings to the person you are with and become more attracted to them.
  • Static attractiveness: Static attractiveness refers to features that you are born with and also includes features that don’t change easily. For example, the shape of your face, your eyes, your nose, and your lips don’t change unless you have plastic surgery. Your body shape does not change easily, but you can control your body shape by dieting and exercising. Men often pay more attention to physical features than women do. For example, some men prefer a woman who is in good physical shape. Sometimes it’s because they fantasize about being able to pick up her up and spin her around.
  • Self-representation: Self-representation refers to how you present yourself – your general appearance. You can make yourself more physically attractive by grooming yourself regularly, using appropriate amounts of makeup, maintaining a current hairstyle, and having a good sense of style. The clothes that you wear should be current, trendy and appropriate for your body type. Avoid wearing anything too big or too small. Another key part of your self-representation is how you smell. Pleasant smells have pleasant effects – especially during intimacy. Make sure your private areas and erogenous zones have a pleasant or neutral smell.

Notice that most of the elements of sex appeal are well within your control. You determine your level of sex appeal.  Whether you are a man or a woman, if you are a genuinely fun person, and you take care of yourself then you probably have sex appeal. You will benefit from having sex appeal even if you are not having sex. You will also benefit from having sex appeal even if you are not dating or are not in a relationship. Your sex appeal contributes to your attractiveness. People are generally nicer to people who they find attractive.

Men tend to spend more time/money on women who they feel have sex appeal. Men also spend more time/money on things that they feel have sex appeal. For example, if a man likes his car there is a good chance that he will spend more time/money than necessary on that car. He will spend money to keep it clean and in good condition. He will take it to the shop more often to make sure all is well. He may even add unnecessary things like fancy rims, an enhanced sound system, tinted windows, or any number of features that you can imagine from the movie The Fast and The Furious. The bond between a man and what he likes can be very strong.

For more information about sex appeal read Chapter 5 – Sex Appeal

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