The 90-Day Rule: Is it a good idea?

ByDavid Ross

The 90-Day Rule: Is it a good idea?

A good friend’s mom re-entered the dating scene after her husband passed away. She told me that she was reading a popular book about relationships. I decided to read the book to see what it was all about. I like the author of the book and thought the book was good overall. However, there are some parts of the book that I strongly disagree with. For example, the author suggested that a woman should wait 90 days before having sex. The reason he suggested 90 days is that he had to wait 90 days before getting benefits when he worked for the Ford Motor Company many years ago.

Waiting 90 days is a bad idea. It is silly and risky for several reasons. Before elaborating let me first say that if you want to wait until you are married to have sex that is perfectly reasonable. Research has shown that if you have a healthy balanced dating relationship, waiting until marriage to have sex makes you more likely to have a stable marriage. [23] Unfortunately, many dating relationships are not healthy or balanced.

Note to women: If you are dating a man who has invested a lot of money, time, and emotions in your relationship you really should be clear about why you don’t want to have sex. For example, if you are waiting 90 days and you don’t explain why you are waiting, it may be a problem. Your man might think that maybe you are having sex with someone else. He might feel that he is being used. Or he might feel that you are a gold digger – someone who uses men for their money. You don’t want a guy to think that you are a gold digger (assuming that you are not).

Another potential problem with waiting 90 days is that it highlights the moment when you eventually have sex. Outside of a honeymoon, it is not a good idea to highlight your first time having sex because the experience may not be all that great. Studies have shown that your first sexual experience with someone may not be a smooth one because sex usually improves as you get to know each other better. If a man feels that sex is supposed to be a reward for his 90 days of work he might be more critical of the experience.

So basically, when it comes to sex you have a few options:

Read more in Chapter 4 – Men’s Wants in the book Don’t Be Yourself: Be A Better Person

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