Friendships, dating relationships, and marriages work really well when the people involved have a good connection. There are many different ways to connect. You can connect on a physical level, an emotional level, an intellectual level, or a spiritual level. Your level of connection depends on what you feel is important to you. Here are some examples of ways to connect on the various levels mentioned:
- Physical connections: A good physical connection exists when you and your partner (or person of interest) like each other’s physical qualities and appearance. In this case, physical qualities refer to anything that appeals to the five senses – sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch. For example, if you and your partner like how each other looks, smells, and feels, then you have a good physical connection.
- Emotional connections: A good emotional connection exists when you and your partner understand each other and feel safe sharing your deepest feelings with each other. Here are some key ingredients of a good emotional connection:
- You both feel comfortable being vulnerable or emotionally “exposed.”
- You both understand each other’s peculiarities and personality quirks.
- You have a similar sense of humor – you can laugh or appreciate each other’s jokes.
- You both communicate respectfully with each other. You can disagree without being disagreeable.
- You both respect and appreciate each other, and you don’t try to change each other.
- Intellectual connections: If you have similar ideas and similar world views than you have a good foundation for an intellectual connection. Also, if you appreciate each other’s hobbies or passions, you have a good foundation for an intellectual connection. An intellectual connection does not require both of you to have the same level of education. For example, if you are a lawyer or a doctor who likes to cook, you can appreciate someone (with no degree) who also likes to cook. If that person happens to be a good chef or a business owner, you can both enjoy and enhance each other’s culinary skills. When you combine your intellectual connection with an emotional connection, a great relationship can blossom.
- Spiritual connections: Spiritual connections happen when you and your partner respect and appreciate each other’s beliefs and share the same core values. For example, if you and your partner have the same religious beliefs you are likely to connect on a spiritual level. Also, if you both attend the same church (or similar churches), you can connect on a spiritual level because you can share stories about your church experiences.
Read Chapter 2 – Things Unsaid to learn how to form a good emotional or intellectual connection. Chapter 5 – Sex Appeal – will address some of the requirements for a good physical connection. Chapter 10 – Spirituality and Self – will address some of the requirements for a good spiritual connection.
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